Individually we carry a dream with us, a half-fulfilled dream that will need that special someone to complete it. When we meet that special someone, we begin to see the fulfilment of this dream together.
Marriage is a time where we get separated from our "family", venture into a new space where we, both husband and wife, will begin to build our own structure together. Many do not realize that in the foundation of this structure, there is a mix of both our dreams, our personalities, our idiosyncrasies, our heritage from our family of origin, our core values and our worldviews.
When the storms of life hit us, we panic and rush to tear down this structure which provides this family with a shared sense of belonging and security. What's left is the basic foundation covered with bits and pieces of ourselves, then we fight each other to the end, as we perceive that our core values are being trampled and disrespected. By this time, things had gotten too personal each hitting the other below the belt. Contempt, stonewalling, criticism and defensiveness set in threatening to destroy this marriage.
I have worked with many families and couples only for them to realize that they somehow still hold the dream of each other in their hands, not letting go and still wanting to re-construct the structure again. The process of trying to put the pieces together again can be painful, bitter, often fraught with hopelessness and helplessness, extreme emotional pain, denial, threats of suicide and each challenging or waiting for the other to let go.
Whether it's a breakdown in communication, adultery, differing values, disrespect, feeling unloved, unreasonable behaviour or any reasons that are causing this drift and shattering your dream, I will work with you to unravel the root issue and manage the relationship in a way that is acceptable to both, without changing the basic identity of either